The grasshopper replies, “Really? You have a drink named Steve?!” This grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “Hey! We have a drink named after you!” What do two condoms say when walking past a gay bar.įour gays in the bar and only one stool. Why didn’t the bartender serve the snake? The bartender says, “So, that’ll be two bloods and a blood lite?”ĭrinking too much is not good for you but drowning yourself in our amusing bar jokes is another story! These short bar jokes for adults are easy to remember, and the drunk you will share it over and over again. The third one says, “I’ll have a pint of plasma.” The second one says, “I’ll have one, too.” The first one says, “I’ll have a pint of blood.” So a five-dollar bill walks into a bar, and the bartender says,Ī bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here.” He asks for one beer, and one for the road. The bartender says, “Want to hear a joke?” The corn stalk replies, “I’m all ears!”Ī guy walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The landlord says, “Sorry sir, we don’t serve food here.” The bartender says, “Why the short face?” The bartender says, “Wow I’ve never served a weasel before, what can I get you?” “Pop”, goes the weasel. The penguin doesn’t answer because it’s a penguin. The bartender says, “So what will it be this time?” The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t cater for functions.” Why did the woman bring a ladder to the bar?īecause she heard the drinks were on the house. The bartender looks up and says, “We don’t serve your type in here.” The bartender says “Okay, but don’t start anything.” One of them says “We’d like a couple of beers, please.” The bartender replies, “For you, neutron, no charge.” When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, “Bartender, how much do I owe you?” The past, present, and future walk into a bar.Ī neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. Laugh more here: Funny Dungeons and Dragons Jokes One says to the other, “It’s hot in here.” The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve minors.” The second scientist says, “I’ll have an H2O too.” The shocked bartender points a finger his way in alarm and yells, “Hey!”The horse says, “You read my mind, buddy.” These classic jokes are worth your time! Every bar-goers should check this collection of man walks into bar jokes for your amusement. The duck asks, “Well then, do you have any peanuts?”Ī polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender: “I’ll have a Gin and… Tonic.”Īnd the polar bear replies, “I don’t know, I’ve always had them.” The next day, the duck walks into the bar and before the bartender can say a word, the duck asks, “Do you have any nails?” The bartender looks taken aback and says quietly, “Sorry, don’t have nails.” The outraged bartender yells back, “I told you, I don’t sell peanuts! If you ask one more time, I’ll nail you to the wall!” The next day, the duck comes in once again and yet again demands, “I want to buy some peanuts!” The bartender replies, a bit gruffly this time, “I already told you I don’t sell peanuts.” The next day, the duck returns and again says, “I want to buy some peanuts.” The bartender says, “Sorry, don’t sell peanuts.” The guy responds, “Why? Are you a lawyer?”Ī duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’d like to buy some peanuts.” The man at the end of the bar says, “I object to that remark.” The lion replies, “Why would the circus need a bartender?”Ī guy walks into a bar and yells, “All lawyers are assholes.” The bartender shakes his head sadly and says, “No, sorry. The guy says, “As soon as she starts looking better at me, I go home.”Ī lion walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any jobs?” He would finish his beer, pull out his wallet and look at a picture of his wife, order another beer, take out his wallet, and look at a picture of his wife.įinally, the bartender asks, why after you finish a beer you take out your wallet and look at a picture of your wife. The screwdriver squeals, “You have a drink named Philip?” The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” Pretty soon they arrest him for rustling. His shirt and vest are made of waxed paper.Īnd his chaps, pants, and boots are made of tissue paper. The bartender looks up and says, “Is this some kind of joke?” Surely, you won’t regret it.Ī rabbi, a priest, and a Lutheran minister walk into a bar. Are you meeting someone at the bar and thinking of some way to break the ice? How about you learn some new jokes about bars? Go crazy and have so much fun with our funny bar jokes.
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